“The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.”
— Charles Du Bois
Many years ago, a friend of mine told me that she subscribes to a daily email called the Positive Quote of the Day. She said that some of her friends gently mocked her for subscribing to such a list, but she said that she found it helpful so she didn’t cave in to their social pressure. Intrigued, I subscribed myself to the list. Every day I receive a quotation by a famous person that reinforces positive thinking. The quote by Charles Du Bois above is an example.
I find the Du Bois quote particularly interesting and thought-provoking. I believe it’s possible to change one’s thoughts and behaviors and to thereby change one’s self for the better. That’s pretty obvious, I think, considering the name of this blog!
But there’s an interesting flip-side to changing oneself for the better — and Du Bois’ quote highlights it eloquently. Namely, to become a better person, we must sacrifice what we are now. We must at any moment be ready to make that sacrifice. This can be terribly difficult. We’ve been the self we are now for a long time. What a radical, frightening notion is sacrificing the familiar self of the present. Even if we know that we must do so to become a better person. Even if we know we’re suffering more as we are than we would as we might be.
I think this is a hidden second hurdle for people who are trying to develop into a better person. The first is believing change is possible. And the second is our tendency to cling to what we are today. Our reluctance. Our fear. When the opportunity to change is at hand, we must be each be ready and able to sacrifice what we are.
Isn’t it ironic that being positive will cause your friends to give you little jabs and tell you how ‘unrealistic’ that is?!
I used to work with an elderly man who was very upbeat. When I asked him how he got to that point he said, “A long time ago my wife and I decided being positive and happy was much preferable to being negative and unhappy. We decided then and there to choose to be positive.”
When Su Bong Zen Master asked “What is the short-cut to Zen?” Zen Master Seung Sahn said “Not for me.”
This “not for me” is very important. Why are we in this world? What is our purpose? Not for me.
Good post.
At a very low point in my life, my partner of 5 years had just told me he was no longer in love with me, I was driving home from my 25th high school reunion from Pennsylvania back to Kentucky. I began crying and asking whatever is out there (God or whatever) to give me some sign. I suddenly realized I had somehow taken an exit off the interstate. I had to turn around in some tiny town and get back on the interstate, where the on-ramp was backed up due to road work. Traffic was crawling, I was behind a station wagon, where someone had written this Du Bois quote on the back of the vehicle.
I realized at that moment that I was ready to sacrifice who I was and live a completely different life. This quote changed my life.
Thank you!