Been by Walking the Black Dog lately? No? Well, now’s a great time to pop by. He’s embedded a couple of great videos of Jon Kabat-Zinn that I think you will enjoy and learn from.
The other day, I overheard a conversation in a coffee shop that made me think. Two women were sitting at a table near mine, and said, “I’ve been trying to meditate but I can’t do it. I hear people tell me all the time how great it is to clear one’s mind for 10 minutes every day, but I just can’t do it. When I try to meditate, my head is full of so many thoughts, and I can’t make them stop.”
I think this is a fairly common experience. After all, our minds are pretty unruly and don’t just stop thinking when we tell them to.
What I wanted to tell her was this: Just as an experiment, don’t try to stop your thoughts. Let them arise. Notice them. Let them pass. Don’t try to stop them. Don’t cling to them when they appear.
The idea here is that meditation isn’t an act of sanitizing your mind, forcing it to be sparkling clean when it’s not. Rather it’s an act of familiarizing yourself with how your mind works. Familiarizing. Not sanitizing.
Rather than be discouraged by the unruly nature of her mind, this beginner meditator would do better not worrying about all those thoughts (after all, those worries are thoughts too) and just let them arise and pass. Worrying about her uncontrollable thoughts can only lead to one result: she stops trying. Rather, being tolerant of them — learning to let go of them while gently bringing her attention repeatedly back to some of single thing to focus on such as her breath is more likely to allow her to strengthen her meditation practice. And a stronger, more balanced practice, is more likely to bestow the benefits she seeks.
Editor’s note: This guest post was written by Dave Rankin.
Here in New York City, winter is upon us. Grey skies and cold temperatures, a noticeable lack of major outdoor events, and the high cost of heating seem to be the complaints muttered by everyone from local newscasters to bus drivers to dog walkers. At least in December, they lament, we had daily religious festivities, secular festivities, shopping festivities and a million other reasons to be festive. But now, in this long, frigid stretch between New Year’s and Memorial Day, all we have to hope for is that global warming will bring about a quick demise to winter so that we can get through spring and then onto summer—when things really get good. Ironically, just when the people who are currently pining away for the dog days of summer are finally happily baking away in a mid-June heatwave, a whole other group will start grumbling about how all we have to do is survive another five months until the temperatures drop, the snow starts to fly, and winter returns—when things really get good.
Sadly, when we spend a whole season either complaining on a daily basis about how we wish the weather were different, or we waste away our time daydreaming about a future season, we miss out on a lot of great opportunities. We miss out on a lot of life. As a recovering autumn and winter addict who’s learned to enjoy spring and summer for their own unique qualities, trust me when I say, the whole year’s a lot more fun when we learn to enjoy the season we’re dealt. And, when we’re able to make each year a little better, we’re ultimately making our whole lives a lot better.
From Traditional Chinese Medicine to Pagan belief systems to environmental ecology, it seems that a lot of people talk about the benefits of seasonal living. That is, shaping your life activities to work in conjunction with the nature around you. Now, I’m not going to try to tell you why you should consider living in harmony with the seasons; I’m just going to assume that you already have your own reasons for wanting to give it a try. What I do want to address, though, is a point that I think is often overlooked in a lot of the materials on this topic—how to get started living seasonally when you simply don’t like one or more seasons. There’s no magical formula that will allow you to wake up one day and suddenly start loving every part of the year. But, there are some simple and somewhat universal ways that I think anyone can use to start to change their views on any season.
1. Eat Seasonally – Not only can this be a fun way to introduce new foods into your diet, but it can also help you save money. Simply by focusing on buying food (produce in particular) that’s in season locally, you’ll start to feel a little more tied to the season at hand.
2. Decorate for the Season – This idea can extend to almost anything, from your apartment/house, to your car, to your computer desktop and icons. Put out decorations or use colors that are tied to what’s going on in the nature around you.
3. Dress for the Season – Going outside in the snow in nothing but a t-shirt and shorts is simply living in denial. And, as we all know, denial is often the first sign that you have a problem. By dressing appropriately for the weather, you’re taking the first step toward acknowledging what’s going on around you.
4. Go Outside – So long as you’re already following suggestion number three, then you shouldn’t have any problems with this one. Get yourself outside to experience, first-hand, the seasonal changes taking place in your environment. You’re just not going to feel it if you spend your entire life going from your home to your car to some other indoor setting.
5. Find Holidays to Celebrate – So, maybe there aren’t any holidays in February that you look forward to, but have you ever thought about seeing what holidays people in other parts of the world celebrate at that time of year? There’s nothing to stop you from adopting other culture’s holidays and traditions. Not only can you learn something new about other parts of the world, but you can also give yourself a new reason to look forward to an otherwise lackluster part of the year.
6. Create Seasonal Traditions – Along the same lines as suggestion five, one way to jump-start your excitement about any part of the year is to create your own traditions for that particular season. They don’t have to be elaborate, and they don’t have to mean anything to anyone else but you.
7. Learn from Others – Take the time to find out what other people like about a particular season. Do you hate autumn but know other people who seem to look forward to it all year? Talk with them to find out what they like so much about it. Or, even better, tag along with them on a seasonal adventure. Just getting a fresh perspective on it will help you learn to appreciate any season in ways you might not ever have thought to otherwise.
8. Learn about the Season – One of the best ways to conquer fears, biases, or any other negative thoughts about almost anything is to learn about it. If you’ve got a season you simply don’t like, spend some time researching what changes happen in your area at each time of the year to make it a unique period. You might be surprised to learn some interesting facts that make the season seem a lot better.
9. Adopt a Seasonal Hobby – If you’re still struggling to get into a certain season, why not try to start doing an activity that can only be done in your region at that time of year. This will give you an on-going project to work on and look forward to year after year.
10. Go on a Seasonal Trip – Regardless of where you live, there are certain places in your vicinity that epitomize the changes associated with any particular season. So, go on short trips in your area to see those places. Seeing the season at its best may be enough to change your mind.
And, before I go any further, I want to say that I know there are some people out there thinking to themselves, “Yeah, that’s great, except where I live January is the same as February which is the same as March and every other month. There are no distinct seasons here!” Now, I’m certainly not a biologist, climatologist , or any other kind of natural scientist, but I do know that even in the desert, the arctic circle, and the deepest rain forests, nature changes throughout the year. The changes may be very subtle compared to other parts of the world, but they’re there. And for you, that might just mean that seasonal living is more about nuance than it is drastic lifestyle changes throughout the year. I’d suggest you start with idea number eight to learn about what changes actually take place throughout the year in your region. You might just be surprised to learn that nature changes seasonally in your area a little more than you would have thought.
No matter what your reasons are for deciding to live in harmony with nature and the seasonal changes, the first step is learning to appreciate all the seasons you live in. And while this list of suggestions is by no means exhaustive, there are hopefully few ideas that anyone can use to start to re-think a dislike for any season. Ultimately, learning to acknowledge, accept, and even enjoy every season is just an extension of learning to be mindful and fully in the present moment.
Following on the same theme as my last post, here’s another quick trick you can use to increase your mindfulness and pull yourself more firmly into the present moment. I learned this in a bit of a strange way. A friend of mine and I were watching a video of a musician performing on a television show in France. As the host of the show delivered his introduction of her on stage for the audience, a camera recorded her pre-entrance ritual backstage. She sat quietly, apparently meditating. Just before her cue to go onstage, she raised her head and, staring straight ahead, said aloud, quietly but firmly: “This is now.” Fully focused, she stood and walked to the stage door.
My friend and I were both struck by this little ritual, and we agreed that “This is now” is a great thing to say to bring oneself fully into the present. This is now. This is now. This is now.
Try it yourself. First close your eyes and watch your breath for a few cycles. Now open your eyes and say aloud, “This is now.”
This tip might sound a bit kooky, but if you suffer from anxiety and this technique helps you feel better then maybe a little kookiness is okay, eh? The principle behind it is simple: grounding yourself in the present moment helps calm the mind and dissolve anxiety. There are many techniques based on this concept. Perhaps you’ve tried one or two before. Try this one and see for yourself if it’s more or less effective than the others.
What to do:
When you feel anxiety arising, silently acknowledge it and notice what physical action you are performing. For example, maybe you’re walking down the street or brushing your teeth.
Mentally say to yourself: “The one thing I am doing right now is walking down the street” or “The one thing I am doing right now is brushing my teeth.”
I find this technique helps bring me back to the present moment and stops my mind from wandering off into the future or the past where I worry about things over which I have no control right now. It’s simple and easy to try, so give it a whirl.
All my adult life, I’ve kept a messy desk. There were always piles of papers spilling over one another, books, pens, and other random clutter. Ever since getting serious about GTD though, I’ve become a “neat desk” person without even meaning to. That is, I didn’t have to try to develop this new habit of keeping a neat, uncluttered desk; it just happened naturally. Take a look at the picture above. That’s a picture of my desk last night. I was walking by it, and ultra-tidiness of it struck me, so I snapped a picture of it. And, actually, the double laptop thing is unusual for me. Ordinarily, I only have three objects on the desk: one laptop, one lamp, and the little Buddha statue at the base of the lamp.
How did GTD lead to this bizarre but welcome neatness, you ask? Well, one of the great things about GTD is you only work on one thing at a time. And when you’re working on that one thing, you’re fully focused on it. That’s a great way to work, and it dovetails nicely with other philosophies about life and productivity I hold, so it works out nicely on several different planes. As Shunryu Suzuki said: “When you do something, you should burn yourself completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself.” Multi-tasking is incompatible with such a goal.
So, while I’m working, instead of having dozens and dozens of things cluttering my desk, I have only the things that concern that one task on my desk. For example, if I’m paying my bills, I extract one bill from my inbox, and place that bill and only that bill on my desk. If I’m working on a programming project and need a reference book, that one book is on my desk. If what I’m working on requires no physical objects other than my laptop, then there’s nothing else on my desk. The side effect? One very neat desk!
Now, I’m not an absolutist about it. Sometimes there’s an extra thing or two on the desk. Right now there’s a pad of paper and an orange I’ll snack on soon. A stray item or two that doesn’t stay long doesn’t bother me. But generally speaking, the desk is in a permanent state of neatness. My desk was just the way you see it in the picture last night. I didn’t hide things to make the picture more dramatic.
The neatness of my desk has had a nice effect on my mind and stress level that I wouldn’t have guessed would happen back in my messy desk days. Since I don’t see a bunch of “to-be-done” things — “open loops” in GTD-speak — right in front of me all the time, my mind isn’t always glomming on to them at the wrong time and creating low-level stress: “Oh, man. There are those unpaid bills. I should pay those, but I can’t right now. I’ll do them later. I wonder if any are past due. Ack.” Nope. I trust my system, so I know that when I sweep my inboxes today, any unpaid bills will get paid immediately (since they’re: a) actionable and b) take less than 2 minutes to do), so they’re safely “out of sight and out of mind.”
As a long-time messy desk person, I’m not saying that a neat desk is the only way to go. I was certainly productive with a messy desk; but I strongly suspect I’m more productive with a neat one. Either way, I thought I’d share the picture and the thoughts it inspired.
Those of you who are following DevYou (and thank you very much for that, by the way) have noticed that my once nearly-daily posting schedule has dropped to every-once-in-a-while. Let me assure you: it’s not that I’ve lost interest. And let me assure you too that it’s not because I’ve run out of material; I have almost 100 article ideas eagerly waiting to be written and posted. The trouble is that my freelancing and consulting business is doing so well that I’m super busy. Beyond super busy. And likely to get even busier in 2008. That’s why I was particularly interested in this great article on Brazen Careerist titled “How to figure out which tasks you can ignore”
In the article, Penelope describes how her workload grew and grew and grew, and how she learned to know what to ignore. Because she was up to her eyeballs in great opportunities, she had to accept that she couldn’t take them all on, and ignored some great ones. Did the sky fall because of those choices? No. As she says:
But what I want you to know is that it was okay. Nothing terrible happened.
This article came at the right time for me, as I face simply too many great opportunities, and I know I’ll be taking Penelope’s words to heart.
Over the last few months I’ve been weaning myself off coffee, and I’ve been enjoying the benefits — especially having more consistent energy levels throughout the day. Today’s article, How I Quit Drinking Coffee and the Benefits I’ve Experienced on The Positivity Blog is great. In it, the author describes how and why he stopped drinking coffee. Includes an amusing visual aid too!
Getting of coffee has been a positive experience for me. It’s actually had more of a positive effect than I would have expected. I thought I would feel a little less stressed overall but it has made a significant dent in my ability to focus and concentrate. I also used to feel tired after a meal and used coffee immediately after the meal to boost my energy levels. Now I have a much more even energy-curve throughout the day.
At times of extreme stress — and I mean extreme stress — I find it incredibly difficult to break away from the stress and relax. This is obviously problematic. Sustaining severe stress is bad for your body, and it almost never helps resolve the situation at hand that’s causing the stress in the first place.
Mindful breathing techniques often help, but today I stumbled upon an interesting article called 3 doors to instant relaxation on lifehack that details three relaxation techniques I’d never seen before. Each technique centers on one of the senses: vision, hearing, and taste. For example:
Door 1 is your eyes. Plug your ears (if you have ear plugs, good, if not use fingers). Let your eyes, lazily, slowly drift across any surface near you. Don’t read or identify what you are looking at. Instead, try to just look at the colours and shapes. Is it constant or is there change happening. Can you see definite lines and transitions or are shades blended and fuzzy. If you use only your eyes in this way for a minute or two, you can effectively stop the escalation of stress. You will quickly return to a more normal state of mind and then you can deal with whatever is stressing you.
Intriguing stuff. Next time I’m severely stressed, I’m going to try one or all of these.
(Link: 3 Doors to Instant Relaxation)
Psychology Today has a great article about using physical activity to boost mood and ward off depression. According to the article, mounting evidence shows that exercise is as effective in the treatment of mild to moderate depression as any other treatment.
Right now, mental health experts are carefully building a scientific dossier on exercise as therapy for depression. Already, mounting evidence indicates that regular activity combats depression on many fronts…
Read the full article on the Psychology Today website, then get out there and exercise. If you’ve had trouble starting an exercise habit before, you might also like to read 4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit on Zen Habits.
